We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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