he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
