Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
