Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
