Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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