We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
