I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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