office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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