The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
