dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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