What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
