I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
