I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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