Moan for me like Helen Keller
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
