just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I just gift wrapped bread.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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