Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Randomize
