What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
