Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
