but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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