I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
