a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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