How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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