she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
