Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
