her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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