I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
She announced her abortion via fbk
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Randomize
