Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
