after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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