When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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