Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
