Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
