i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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