my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
