White coat. Heels.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
