I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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