I think scott just propositioned me for sex
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
