did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
