New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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