Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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