Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
