Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
