A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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