I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
