i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
