im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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