these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
