You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
