and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Dicks are not precious.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
