Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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