he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
