If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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