ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
