pop tarts are not kleenex
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
