I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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