I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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