i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize